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shipsnotdrugs:

so my friend and i were home alone and naturally we ordered a pizza

we had a simple request

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so when the doorbell rang we were super excited but our delivery person was this really confused old guy

he was like, “i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the heck a TARDIS is, so i drew the closest thing i could think of”

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he drew us a tortoise

god bless this man

i gave him a twenty and told him to keep the change

(via booksarebetterthanreality)

sluttyoliveoil:

life hack

(Source: poyzn, via musicsinsanelover)

shipsnotdrugs:

so my friend and i were home alone and naturally we ordered a pizza

we had a simple request

image

so when the doorbell rang we were super excited but our delivery person was this really confused old guy

he was like, “i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the heck a TARDIS is, so i drew the closest thing i could think of”

image

he drew us a tortoise

god bless this man

i gave him a twenty and told him to keep the change

(via booksarebetterthanreality)

sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

(Source: amovible, via thetomboywithheadphones)

(Source: midnightcrater, via dutchster)

Reblog if it’s okay to invade your ask box.

(via todayistomorrowshistory)

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

(via sherlockbringthejam)

the-doctors-sexiest-companion:

spnfans:

that’s a real fancy way of saying “I’m a huge geek”

i’m using this phrase from now on

(via no-party-like-a-hobbit-party)

jerryspringers:

when u say a really clever comeback without stuttering

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(via exteriors)

shotsfiredat221b:

dulect:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

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Both reactions work

(Source: chicken-nuggets-galore, via stability)

(Source: jasondilaurentis, via qutiess)

thatfunnyblog:

Why aren’t we talking about Dylan sprouse have you SEEN his tweets?


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GUYS SERIOUSLY 
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G U Y S
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(Source: clashing-oceans, via sunseaandpleasantshores)

ssweet-dispositionn:

thatfunnyblog:

Why aren’t we talking about Dylan sprouse have you SEEN his tweets?


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GUYS SERIOUSLY 
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G U Y S
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I LOVE HIM OMG

(Source: clashing-oceans, via onceuponaharmony)

magalomania:

edprinzawesome:

his face……

The man just wants to feel cute. He doesn’t understand the laughter.

(Source: prettyprettyday, via megafreakingabsol)